Learning to "let go" But How?

I have had 2 words in the last couple of days that echo this poem. NOW I am having to learn how to all over again :-)

Be Still & Know That I am God

Sit still, my daughter! Just sit calmly still!

Nor deem these days–these waiting days–as ill,
The One who loves thee best, who plans thy way,
Hath not forgotten thy great need today!
And, if He waits, ’tis sure He waits to prove
To thee, His tender child, His heart’s deep love.

Sit still, my daughter! Just sit calmly still!
Thou longest much to know thy dear Lord’s will!
While anxious thoughts would almost steal their way
Corrodingly within, because of His delay.
Persuade thyself in simple faith to rest
That He, who knows and loves, will do the best.

Sit still, my daughter! Just sit calmly still!
Nor move one step, not even one, until
His way hath opened. Then, ah then, how sweet!
How glad thy heart, and then how swift thy feet
Thy inner being then, ah then, how strong!
And waiting days not counted then too long.

Sit still, my daughter! Just sit calmly still!
What higher service could’st thou for Him fill?
‘Tis hard! ah yes! But choicest things must cost!
For lack of losing all how much is lost!
‘Tis hard, ’tis true! But then –  He giveth grace
To count the hardest spot the sweetest place

 http://www.knowing-jesus.com/stand-still-sit-still-be-still

Reading this is like being wrapped in a luxuriously soft and light Mohair blanket.  I believe this is what God is trying to tell me, no what he IS telling me, by now probably shouting at me.

 Isaiah 52:12 (ESV)

12  For you shall not go out in haste, 

and you shall not go in flight, 

for the Lord will go before you, 

and the God of Israel will be your rear guard.

About 19 yrs ago God gave me my best friend. We met while sitting next to each other in a huge meeting on a Christian retreat holiday. While worshiping praying she was overcome by the holy Spirit & I literally had to stop her from falling into loads of chairs, as we were high up I was concerned, off course I needn't have been, but that was Gods way for us to meet. We exchanged a couple of words and even though we did not live in the same area or go to the same church, we were just "put together" I think we bump't into each other once a month at the large Pioneer umbrella church meetings & our fate was sealed.  

I gave up a year to do T I E team with Pioneer, now known as D N A & wowsers so did my new friend that was that we were joined by spirit, heart & soul!  We always "feel" when we need to phone or pray for each other, even though we are now over 2000 miles apart, and what a lot of heartache we have both been through in this time! Neither of us has had it easy, but I KNOW my lovely God given friend will ALWAYS hear from God and pray for me and into my situation.

This is exactly what she has just done hence my message which came just after a wonderful invitation to go and stay with a Christian couple on the coast in Varna. They have a God given ministry there and have graciously asked me to go, to get me out of this hell I am in right now.  His word was.... Stop trying so hard,  it is impossible to save a drowning person who is trying to save themselves, relax and do nothing stop thrashing around and let God speak to you and  I am the perfect me I don't need improving.  Boy did I need to hear that! 

I think this is perfect timing. I seem to have reached the point where God says "now I can" I just need to let him and I am suddenly in that place where "I can".

I decided I have to take people up on their offers, scary, but I am not even going out of the house right now let alone socialising. My life has been put on hold, while I held onto Hope that Love would prevail.  People kept telling me I needed to move on, but how do I do that? Hence the thrashing around I guess.  

I did not (in fact still don't) want to let go of my husband, even though he has another woman and let go of me many months ago, shows complete disregard and has no love for me his supposed soul mate!  I am completely bereft but after the last couple of days strangely lighter in my being.

I have a friend who also is without church and we are getting together in a few days to kick each others spiritual butt, we both really need it and after what God is doing on the Isle of Wight and the link I have through FB with the pastor I have great expectations for us here in Bulgaria.  Perhaps my Evangelistic gift may be returned? I don't know, what I do know is I am starting to feel the need for the Holy Spirit to fall on this country and us, the need for new life to breath on us and funnily God always speaks to me of others when I am coming out of my suffering.  SOOOOO maybe (unless I am completely delusional) I am on the road to recovery? I am not silly I know it is a long road, with much prayer needed and much bible reading by me (dry is not the word!!!!! give me a thirst) but I seem to be on my way.  I am looking forward to Varna, even though it will be really scary to move out of my comfort zone of loneliness and  aloneness, funny how we are comfortable spiritually with the blanket we wrap around ourself, even a ragged blanket!  I believe I am to be re-born while with these people of God, that they are God given and boy are they loving as they have never met me, have never heard my voice, yet they are loving me, this is who we should all be, just LOVING.