Oh My Goodness

I have just been reading through some blogs that blogger suggested. They were all God related but most were unreadable, unless you were top of Mensa! How on earth are people supposed to understand the message of the gospel? I have been a Christian most of my life (in fact from the age of 3 really) and I understood not a word. Perhaps we can only be Christians if we have finished a masters degree first class? Who made it so hard to understand, who made it so hard to live, who is responsible for the divide of who is intelligent enough to share the gospel and the love of Christ Jesus? It has upset me as it makes me feel that I am  not good enough, no wonder the church is emptying at an alarming rate!

Hi,  I am a Christian who, through this blog, will reveal my walk, stumble/s rejections and promises of God. It's a doozie and maybe while writing it I may find myself or at least the answers as to WHY? Why did this happen to me, why did I allow this, why why why?
This really will be a rambling from my mind, which gets very confused with all the theologies out there, I just have to remember one thing, well maybe two. God loves ME. Jesus died for ME, Oh and I am SAVED! So that is three!

Why do the human race think they know it all? That if you can't see it feel it or touch it then it does not exist? So then you have the Christians who think they are so intelligent they just have to make Christianity complicated, as if that will give them kudos outside of the Christian community. This also then, withing the church community, elevates them to mega star Christian who must be greatly used by God as he understands so much more than we. Hmmmm, now is is just me, am I being very rebellious, is what I am thinking how it really is, or am I very, very wrong?  I have always been told I am a rebel, yes I am, this is my personality and the way God made me actually, but, in my previous church, I was made to feel I was wrong to question as I knew nothing.
So I joined what I could, went to meetings and every conference, did a  couple of short term Training in Evangelism fortnights, a whole year training in evangelism, which was actually a year being treated as a second class citizen, "because it was good for me to be a servant", and showered in cold water when on teaching weeks while the leaders had hot water?  I was in my thirties with a husband three children and a mortgage! It was enough to be parted from them I didn't need more torture! To say I was disappointed in my leaders on this teaching year, well my heart sunk and I lost my respect for them. I am sure to this day that God my father did not want me to shower and wash my hair in freezing water in the depths of  winter, he is not a God of torcher. Thank goodness for my faith!
My faith is unshakable I have always believed, from the age of three when I had a massive C of E church in my street in Croydon south London. I don't remember why or how but I wanted to go and my mum is against anything to do with religion.

Mum is Welsh, was raised in a very Baptist family and found them to be very hypocritical. Unfortunately she now tars everyone with the same brush. Mum was a Christian at some point,  I believe Jesus is still with her. A few years ago mum had a perforated bowel and very nearly died. She was in an enforced coma and she had a very vivid dream. It was an amazing dream the upshot of which was she could go one way on her own which looked easier or a "person" wanted her to go with him to safety but the way was harder, looked dangerous and scary! She kept saying take me the other way but he wouldn't and eventually she came into a brightly lit place of safety, then she was awake in hospital. My mum loves Lord of the rings and she said it was in a land just like that with huge thorns trying to get her, barring her way. It still makes me tingle. Jesus has not abandoned my mum,she is still saved, even if she doesn't realise it, as its so deep. My God knows my mums soul,  all her hurts and devastation!
Mum has had such a hard life and to know that she is saved (and I Know) is wonderful! This is a fact I will not argue with any theologian because I know that I know, that I know!

Anyway back to 3 year old me, lol, maybe next time as now I want to phone my mum
x